headcanon o1.

One of Laguna’s most admirable qualities is that he doesn’t make excuses. He takes responsibility for his actions, understands that intent does not lessen impact, and above all, makes the hard decisions ( because let’s face it: it’s not hard to take responsibility for yourself when you take the easy way out ). The choices he opts for are not always pretty, but in hindsight, they’re consistently honorable, self-sacrificing, and for the greater good.

Gushing aside, let’s talk about Laguna’s choice to give up on Squall. No excuses here; Laguna very willingly stays in post-Adel Esthar without retrieving his child because, as far as he’s concerned, it’s for the best.

Ignoring how Laguna’s quite obviously grieving and seeking solace in his work ( remember this? ), Esthar is emerging from an interregnum bridging the end of a regime to an age of prosperity and you can bet your sweet ass Laguna is busy.

The people of Esthar have more likely than not been starving (let’s consider that the earth around the city is damn barren and that Adel probably wasn’t too keen on sharing with the peasants) and the Loire Administration has to figure out an effective agricultural system. Furthermore, the Estharians been tortured and subjected to atrocities that can’t even be named seventeen years after the sorceress’s reign, so health care* becomes a major issue ( *the green healing sections in the city lead me to believe universal health care is Esthar’s current policy, just fyi ). And lastly, for the sake of brevity, it’s possible there are city-wide cases of Stockholm Syndrome interspersed among a public that is wondering where do we go from here post-liberation, so the new government will be needing to hound out radicals and the like. Keep in mind this list doesn’t cover foreign policy ( we all know how that turns out ), economic, and martial concerns.

Relying on his resources, Laguna maybe burns through a year or two sorting these matters out — or, at least, laying the foundations for the solutions to these problems. At this time, ‘president’ is still a relevant position rather than a symbolic one, but all those issues mentioned prior? Not excuses. Not a single one. Had Laguna then chose to put some effort into picking up his kid from Edea’s Orphanage, he wouldn’t have been too late. Squall wouldn’t remember much of anything of a life apart from his father and the events of FFVIII would have been substantially different.

( And, for the record, I don’t buy that Esthar wasn’t safe for Squall for x amount of years. Laguna has and has had the [tentative] support of Odine, his workforce, and countless others since Adel’s fall. Technology being the source of Esthar’s power, military and otherwise, he would’ve snuffed out any and all hostile resistances within the first year, tops. Ain’t nobody messing with Laguna’s motherfucking clique. )

So then why leave Squall behind? Laguna’s a family man, isn’t he? He clearly loves Ellone/Raine/etc.! He’d never abandon Squall of his own free will!

Sometimes love means letting go.

Recall how Laguna, while realistic, tends to err on the side of optimism. Add to that the mindset of depression. The two seem to conflict, but apply both to Laguna’s situation and you’ll have a father who’s afraid of not having enough time for his child, who doubts his ability to take care of said child, who misses his wife terribly and doesn’t think he can return to that life again, not so soon.

And thus, loving a son he’s never met, when Laguna leaves Squall in Edea’s care, he earnestly believes Squall will be adopted into a family that will be able to give him the love and attention he needs. A family with a mother and father, maybe a sibling or two. He thinks this is for the best — and it is, as it turns out, but not in the way Laguna envisioned.

The plan backfires, and as much he loves boasting the perfection of his designs, Laguna understands this. He made a choice and the harsh repercussions were felt acutely by someone other than himself, and that is one part of many constituting just why Laguna doesn’t believe Squall owes him anything. There are no excuses. There is no buffer. There is only impact and the shadow of intent left in the crater.